Postaldave

Third time's a charm!

Ok, so 6-7 years ago I made this blog to record my adventures as an aspiring video game programmer.

My plan was to program video games and join a big company with my own office. Hang all my video game posters up on the walls, and make a life out of playing video games.

It turns out, I actually really hate programming and computer work in general.... wish I had known that 12 years ago .......

Then, 2 years ago, after realizing how much I hated computers and how little satisfaction video games really bring someone.... I re-started this blog to record my crusade to become a music producer and join a symphony.

I came to the idea by thinking of what brought me the most joy in my life in terms of career type things. I loved being part of band, I hated marching but I loved the symphony part of it. I also have a deep deep passion for music.

I feel music is not just sounds made with instruments, it is like the force in Star Wars, it exists all around us and truly great musicians are simply experts are channeling this force through instruments.

I pulled out my old sheet music, bought a nice fancy clarinet (yes, I blow) and .... nothing..............

Turns out I'm just not that passionate about sitting in a room playing an instrument to myself all day and nite.



The Realization

I kept bouncing the thought around.... what the fuck do I want to do with my life? I can't just do NOTHING...

- I want to travel and see different things, people, places, the world.
- I want to be excited to wake up in the morning about my work.
- I want a career that allows me to take care of the people I love and care for.
- I want a career that lets me spend large amounts of time with my family.
- I want adventure!

I ran these things through my head over and over and over.......the only thing I could keep coming back to is how exciting and alive I felt on every play, video production, and live display of artistry I've participated in.

Then I asked myself the standard go-to question .... "What would I do for a job if I had a million dollars?"...

- My first answer was ... Man, a million dollars isn't that much nowadays is it? maybe I should say a billion....

- My second answer was.... I wouldn't do anything!

- No.... I'd get too bored, I have to do SOMETHING! I mean, you can only masturbate so much...

AND IT CAME TO ME... THAT HORRIBLE VOICE IN OUR HEADS OUR MENTORS WARN US ABOUT ALL OUR LIFE.

I WANT TO GO TO HOLLYWOOD!



Working out the details

Now, I'm no actor nor do I have a desire to be one. I am scared shit-less of being on a stage and I have absolutely zero desire to be a famous face plastered all over the tabloids.

So acting is out of the question, but I do feel I could help others bring their characters to life....

Well, I'm good at computers so maybe something in post production, special effects CGI type work, etc. But, that would essentially be the same thing I do now in a different office.

I want to get out from behind a computer monitor!

So no post production for me.... plus I can't draw for shit.

So I bounce the idea around in my head for about a year, I started college back up.... aced my classes and still thought..... What exactly in film would I do?



Big Papa

Which led me to the "Motion Picture Film Analysis" class with a Mr. Jim Papageorge, a truly interesting and exciting person right out of film himself. (He greatly reminds me of a young Dennis Hopper mad professor type mixed with the comic book guy from the simpsons).

After sitting through Citizen Kane, Lawrence of Arabia, Blazing Saddles, Chicago, A Boy and his Dog.... I started to realize..

I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS!

not for the money....

not for fame....

I want to do this because I get it, it excites me in a way I haven't felt since I was a child sitting in front of the fridge playing out the stories I made up with letter magnets.

I can give life to anything!

God gifted me with an impressive imagination, why not use the one thing I'm truly gifted at?



THE REALITY SETS IN?

So my first reaction is to think.... "Ok, it's Hollywood.... am I just dreaming too big or can this actually be done?" So I spent a lot of time bouncing it around, considering, dreaming..... and normally this is when I get over the idea and bounce back to something more REAL... like a career in computers.

But I kept coming back to the idea that when you look at directors, they are normal people like you and me, they aren't an exceptionally gifted athlete, they aren't geniuses, they are the camp fire story-tellers... normal guys who just had the desire and passion to make a movie.

I'm not trying to be Michael Jordan, I'm not trying to be Lance Armstrong, I'm not trying to be Obama.

Then I realized, if I do this, I could truly be myself.

I could walk, talk, dress, and be myself....something that only my closest friends and family know that I rarely am.



Course set captain... make it so.

Now here I am a year later with my lovely wife about to finish her PhD and me about to quit my job and go back to school full-time as we had always planned, and I finally have made up my mind for good.

It's finally my time to get my life moving.

No more struggling through jobs where I'm under-appreciated and over-worked.

No more pulling teeth to get out of bed in the morning for another day of monotany.

No more sitting idly by as life passes.

I want to tell stories, I want to be the illustrated man, I want to make movies!



Wish me luck....